I tried, now I will try again.

Here I sit, staring at the keyboard, fighting with the baby as she insists on slapping the shit out of my laptop, and I decide to do the food shop, not just ant food shop but a Slimming World food shop.

Late september 2019, I joined, my first week, I fucked it, and put on 1.5 lbs. Whoops. But yanno, wine. (and I needed to finish all the unhealthy snacks in the cupboard)

Next week I took it a bit more seriously, actually avoided the wine, the snacks and cooked some delicious healthy meals with all the right stuff. Over the weeks I made progress, some weeks better than other, but I did well.

Then all the shit hit the fan in the most dramatic way, and I stopped going. Ghosted the leader of the group something wicked. I always intended to message her back, but as time went on I just felt more and more embarrassed about messaging her after all the time that had passed.

Moving on..

So I ate what I want, drank what I want, and just undid all the progress I made, Im an adult, I knew what would happen and I have accepted that. But now, I want to go back, I want to say fuck you to everything that gets in my way, I want to get control over my life and my weight and really fuck shit up.

Start the year of properly, by spending a shit ton on a food shop from asda and making my self eat it because…well money.

I have made a promise to myself to stick to it, to better myself, to improve myself and confidence and to try, try everything, and to keep trying until I get it right.