The christmas saga..

Chirstmas 2019, miss babies first christmas, and my first christmas hosting. All that equals stress.

It started on christmas eve, where after feeling fine all week, completeing my pre guests clean I woke up on the 24th WITH THE WORST COLD AND FEELING LIKE GOD DAMN DEATH. To put it in perspective, I felt like an old dish sponge that’s needed replacing for months. Gross. But I am a mother now, and I needed to crack on.

So here I am, attempting to live, oh and bear in mind its half 5 in the morning because fuck my life yanno.. Im trying to drink the clearly needed coffee, hoping the little bean sleeps until late (wish not granted). 

At this point the baby is now fed and watered, Im on probably my third cup of coffee and too high dose of cold and flu relief I found in the back of the cupboard, and its time to tend to the chicken I have gotten for christmas dinner. I got that fucker early, popped it in the freezer, and on the evening of the 22nd, I got the bastard out the freezer and popped it in the fridge for a nice slow defrost. Did this work? NO. That mother fucker was defrosting for about 30+ hours at this point… and it still wasnt defrosted come the morning of the 24th. FUCK. Panic mode. Cue the quick defrost in a sink full of warm water and a couple prayers.

Well it finally worked, and because I dont have the energy and never will to roast a chicken, (or any joint of meat for that matter), it gets thrown in the slowcooker, with stock and a random mix of herbs and spices for good measure.

Time goes on, I have cleaned like a madwoman, my table has been set in a christmassy fashion, the forks I had to run to asda to buy because I didnt have enough had pride of place and I was enjoying a little sit down before my grandmother arrived to give me a hand with miss baby so I could crack on with christmas dinner uninterupted.

And so she does, around 3ish…And with her she brings the breadsauce, stuffing and dessert, and the rest of the dinner prep begins, and so does my first glass of very well deserved wine (mixed with lemonade much to my disappointment), but glug glug I drank that down and it was delicious.

Dinner time for miss baby rolls around, and me being the glutton for punishment decides that while I am cooking ALL FULL CHRISTMAS DINNER, I will cook her a miniature christmas dinner too, who said women can’t multitask? Stealing some chicken from the slowcooker, then boiling some potatoes and brocolli, after a touch of gravy it was ready for the human, and by god did she love it, but fuck did she need a bath after! Cue grandma.

6 oclock hits, the little beans pjs are on, the milk has been drank, the other half is home from work and thank god, its time for bed. She didn’t half look adorable in her christmas eve pjs, our little elf, refusing to wear the hat, rubbing her eyes, and just being generally cranky, because well its bed time.

The human was in bed and asleep, my wine glass was refilled, and because I said 6ish, when dinner finally hit the table at nearly 7 it was techincally on time. It was demolished, and for a first christmas dinner, I fucking SMASHED IT. Bellys were full, the dishes were done and now it was time to chill before going to bed, but of course not before the chocolates were eaten. Fuck it, its christmas was well and truly underway.

Christmas eve, my first time hosting, while I say never again, I probably will, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed creating new traditions, I enjoyed reliving the old ones. After a tough year that has had a lot of uncertainty and pain, it was amazing to have something to amazing to do and enjoy.

Only problem now… I had christmas day to deal with..But I was prepared, I still had atleast 2 bottles of wine left.